Random Acts of Kindness

I have hesitated to write this, but what the heck.  No one reads this stuff, do they?  So, I figure here is my chance to say something without anyone knowing. For a while now I have engaged in random acts of kindness.  I am not sure when it started, but I remember some of the earlier ones. 

There is a diner I have gone to periodically over the years.  I call it, "taking myself out to breakfast." I always enjoyed going there, just sitting at the counter instead of at a table, and watching everyone while indulging in a breakfast that I probably really should not have been eating.  It often included pancakes or waffles with a lot of syrup, and sausages (yeah, not supposed to be eating like that).  Anyway, one day as I was eating an older couple came in.  Yes, even older than me.  The wife was doing alright, but the husband was having to use a walker.  I watched them as they came in and were shown to their table just around to corner from where I was sitting and almost out of my sight.  Not that I was trying to do so, but I could not get them out of my mind.  I kept wondering what their life might be like, and realizing that, when you are having to use a walker, a little unexpected "cheering up" might be welcomed.

Somewhere along the line I made a decision.  As I finished my meal I received my check, put a tip on the counter and headed for the cash register.  When I got there I paid for my meal then pointed out the older couple nearby to the clerk at the register.  "You see that couple just around the corner where the guy has the walker?"  The clerk acknowledged that she did.  "Here,"  I said, handing her another $40, "This is for their breakfast too."  She accepted the money, "No change," I said as I turned and walked out.  It made me feel better on the way home to think that the couple would be surprised and maybe just a little bewildered at the mystery of why someone had done such a thing.  

 Since then I have done that and similar things on a number of occasions. I have asked servers for the check of people at the diner. Most recently I was having trouble picking someone.  I had some ideas, but none felt quite right.  Finally just before I left I called the waitress over and asked her, "If you had $40 to give anyone in this restaurant, who would you pick?"  It was a little unexpected, but she knows I have done this, so she started looking around and seriously thinking about it.  Soon she identified a person.  She told me it was a middle school teacher sitting where I could not see her.  "Good, "  I said, handing her $60, "Here is $40 for her and $20 for you."  She was a little surprised by that second part and she thanked me.  Then I went up front, paid for my breakfast and was on my way.

My wife and I both do this sort of thing.  She has bought groceries for people, as have I, and we both try to keep on the lookout for people who just might appreciate a "random act of kindness."  We've also done things that didn't involve any money.  I remember a situation years ago where we had gone to a restaurant for dinner.  As we were waiting we saw an older single woman who was also waiting for a table.  When our name was called and we got our table, we asked the woman if she might like to join us.  I am sure this was unusual for her, but she accepted and we had a nice meal together and had a very pleasant conversation.

I realize these small things may not make a huge difference in someone's life, but I figure sometimes all people need is to know that they are seen, heard and someone cared enough to do something for them that was out of ordinary.  

 I highly recommend doing "random acts of kindness."     

Left, Right, or Middle?

This whole thing about identifying yourself or others as being politically left, right, or middle is becoming increasingly annoying to me.  If you choose to identify yourself in that manner, it is certainly your right to do so, but to me it leads me to believe you don't spend much time doing any critical thinking about things.  I don't find any subject to be simple enough to think there is one simple position to take regarding it.  You name the subject, and I will find some things where I agree with the left, others where I agree with the right, and still others where my position is more closely aligned with those in the middle.  

Does that make me a centrist?  No.  It makes me someone who thinks about topics and is willing to consider all sides, their pros and their cons.  I don't think any political group has any corner on the truth, but what is worse is I think they all spend way too much time actually cornering the market on lies, misrepresentations, mis-characterisations, straw-manning, and ad hominem attacks (attacking the source rather than the issue).  

The other thing I am completely fed up with is judging people's character by one or two words in a Tweet.  First of all, I wouldn't bother to read a Tweet if you went to the trouble to put it in front of me?  Why? because few if any out there can adequately express themselves in 280 characters without inviting vagaries, mis-statements, and poor word choices as they issue things on-the-fly from their phones.  I want to actually understand what people mean to say rather than just what it might appear that they are saying.  I want to have an actual dialog where I can question whether I understand what they are trying to communicate.

I have often said that virtually nothing that is said or written by anyone is completely clear in its meaning except to the speaker or author.  Sometimes it is not even clear to them a few minutes after they have said or written it.  That even happens to me as I find that something I have written could be misunderstood.

Perhaps you may think that what someone has said is "perfectly clear."  That is seldom if ever the truth since the very act of reading something makes it subject to the interpretation of the reader which can itself be flawed or biased.

In the mean time I have decided that whenever anyone makes blanket negative statements about any group of people (race, political, religious, or otherwise), I am going to take that statement personally as if it was said directly to me.  I am going to do my best to walk in their shoes (not possible, but like I said "my best").  I am going to read and listen to those statements as if I was part of that group and deal with my reaction to it.  So if you want to call any group of people crazy, morons, stupid, hicks, genetically challenged, or whatever, you have just said that to my face and I just might not take it kindly.